The Portal to Hell is in my refrigerator and Bob wants me to clean it out. Not happening! In fact, I am packing up the dogs and moving to a hotel until an exorcism can be performed. I don’t want some half way exorcism either. I want the full monty. I want that smoke stuff they wave around, the psychic “little person”, from Poltergeist, and three priests. Not two because we all know how “that” worked out on, “The Exorcist”.
I know what you all are thinking. You think I just don’t want to clean the frig so I can spend my time playing video games and eating the chocolate bars Bob has hidden behind the canned beans in the pantry. But how would I even know there “are” chocolate bars in the pantry, They’re hidden. DOH!
This is serious people. Ugly things are happening behind those stainless steel doors. One thing goes in…and something totally nasty comes out. I have proof. Look what it did to the celery. A vegetable that never bothers anybody I might add.
If it does this to an innocent stalk of celery what chance do “I” have? I can’t believe how willing Bob is to put me in jeopardy. Clean out the refrigerator! Is he nuts? It’s chaos in there. Tupperware is swelling, green wieners are threatening the cheese and cooked cabbage products have begun to whistle the theme to, “Halloween”. OH, also… remember that stuffing I made for Thanksgiving that went missing for like…five months? It came back! Only, it’s alive now.
Clean out the frig? Not bloody likely!